What I expected
For years, I tried, to be the PERFECT parent. I would desire my children to make "right" choice, and do the "right" thing, and behave the "right" way. I have come to realize there is no such thing! In the past I felt like a failure on many days. I spent too much time yelling and controlling outcomes. I often responded from a place of feeling tired. Cancel clear that old story.
With all the different personalities AND all the different parenting methods and styles( and I studied many of them). How could ONE be RIGHT, the PERFECT way and the rest be WRONG?
Conclusion: They aren't and they can't. Cancel clear, cancel clear!
Parenting is more about loving directing and loving accepting and cheering each other on.
A Lesson from Beginning to Walk
When a child begins to take their first steps and then they fall, we do not get upset, we do not correct, we do not discipline. If fact we do the opposite. We jump for joy, say terms of praise and hugs the child for trying! Often the excitement startles the child, because it is so energetic.( you know what I am talking about).
What if we approached our parenting like this, like our child taking their first step. What if people cheered us on for trying,
"Wow, great attempt". "You were so brave to try that", . encouraged us/them to try again, Hugged us/them when we/they fell down.
Today, for instance, Nikita filled her own water bottle, and upon doing so spilled a bunch of water on the counter. My response on occasion has been to get upset for the mess, however when I can see from this new perspective, I can celebrate her success in getting her own water. I can cheer her on, I can help her see that the water can easily be cleaned up and help her to do that, if required.
Even having both partners in agreement on how to respond or react to situations can create interesting experiences.
Moving on to why I decided to post here today....
Getting on the Same Page
I have found certain things have helped our family run a little smoother and to help up be on the same page.
One that I feel has been most effective and helpful. It is having a Family Council. My favorite Scripture is Counsel with the Lord in ALL thy doings, and He will direct thee for good-Alma 37:37
Big Corporations don't run successfully on whims and willy nilly ideas. They have meeting, they discuss, options and possible outcome, they vote on actions to be taken.
Our family is our most important unit and, if you are like me, we desire for our family to run smoothly as well. We all, each family member has something to contribute.
Having a weekly meeting to discuss...
our successes, so we can cheer each other on
Our week so we make sure all schedules are figured out to run smoothly
Our Challenges are brought up and reviewed in a safe way
Solutions from all members are presented and analyzed
One is selected and voted on, In our home we must all agree for us to move forward with the option.
And we also plan any family events
We take turn conducting and everyone has a chance to voice their ideas and input.
I also found this book to be super helpful " The Secrets of Happy Families"
You can grab a template for holding your own family council here. and
you can listen to a clip of how we use this tool here.
Check out my video for the upgraded version here..
I invite you to grab this FREE valuable resource and try it with your family today...the results will be well worth it!
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